Don't Cross The Shitline


May 22, 2005




Mike Clattenburg

Barrie Dunn

Michael Volpe


Mike Clattenburg

John Paul Tremblay

Robb Wells

Mike Smith

Jonathan Torrens

Iain MacLeod


Ricky (Robb Wells)

Julian (John Paul Tremblay)

Bubbles (Mike Smith)

Jim Lahey (John Dunsworth)

Randy (Patrick Roach)

Lucy (Lucy Decoutere) (credit only)

Sarah (Sarah Dunsworth) (credit only)

J-Roc (Jonathan Torrens)

Ray (Barrie Dunn)

Cory (Cory Bowles)

Trevor (Michael Jackson)

Trinity (Jeanna Harrison) (credit only)

Barb Lahey (Shelley Thompson) (credit only)

T (Tyrone Parsons)

Detroit Velvet Smooth (Garry James) (credit only)

Guest Stars

Officer George Green (George Green (actor))

Detective Ted Johnson (Jim Swansburg)

Grocery Store Clerk (Jacob Rolfe)


J-Roc's latest porn video reins in Ray and Bubbles, and Lahey plots to have as many people as possible arrested.

Plot Synopsis Edit


The boys wake up on Ray's lot. Ray has run out of rum and is looking for booze. Bubbles is hungry and Ray offers him food, but, in the process, discovers he is missing several cans of ravioli. Ricky says Julian is responsible for the eating and drinking. Ray tries to steal Julian's glass and a fight breaks out. Ricky then admits to eating all the ravioli.

Act One Edit

Jim Lahey drinks to excess and sends Randy out to evict Ray from his lot. J-Roc arrives and offers Ray and the Boys money, liquor, and groceries in return for being in his new porn film, "J-Roc's Greasy Trailer Park Girls Gone Wild." Bubbles and Ray are hungry and broke and agree to the idea. Ricky finds out that Lucy is one of the stars and becomes upset.

Randy comes looking for Ray but he has already gone with J-Roc. Randy tells Ricky that his dad will soon be evicted, and Ricky fights with him. Julian breaks it up and sends Randy over to J-Roc's. Randy instead heads back to report to Lahey and he comes up with a secondary plan.

Act Two Edit

At J-Roc's place, Bubbles and Ray prepare to perform in the porn flick. Ray drinks a quart of hard liquor, and Bubbles begs for food. Ricky tries to convince Lucy not to be in the film, because he thought they were getting back together, but Lucy says it's none of his business.

Back at the film location, J-Roc is trying to convince Ray to perform out of the wheelchair, but Ray is concerned that he will be seen as not being disabled, thus ruining his scam with Worker's Comp. Lahey and Randy secretly view the shoot from outside. Ray is now so drunk that he interferes with the shots. Lahey and Randy discover J-Roc's empty grocery bins, and drop dime on him to the store. Tyrone, who is removing Ray from the shoot, finds them out there snooping and sends them away.

Ricky follows Lucy to J-Roc's and tries to stop the shoot. Meanwhile, Officer George Green, Detective Ted Johnson and Jacob from the grocery store roll up to investigate Jim's call.

Act Three Edit

J-Roc is arrested and Lahey tells Ricky this is only the beginning. Ricky takes Ray back to his lot and lets him pass out. Lahey and Randy enter J-Roc's trailer and view the porn footage clearly showing Ray walking around free of his wheelchair. They decide to rat him out.

A short while later, Ted returns and arrests Ray. Lahey mouths off to Ray and Ricky and they drive away.

References Edit

Rickyisms Edit

  • Ted: Rick, your dad's being charged with disability fraud, all the way back to 1989.
  • Ricky: What are you talking about? He's in a chair, how the hell is that a frog?

Lahey's Shit Talk Edit

"Shit-moths, Randy. They started off as tiny little shit-larvae, Randy and then they grew into shitapillers, a pandemic of shitapillers, everywhere you look, Randy, shitapillers. They almost drove me over the god damn edge, boy. I tried to exterminate 'em, put an end to the shitapiller's life cycle, but I failed. And now, shit-moths, Randy. Every fuckin' one of 'em... shit-moths."

"Birds of a shit-feather flock together, Randy."

"I always live by one golden rule: You don't cross my shit-line, I don't cross your shit-line. When he told everybody I was drinking again, he crossed the god damn shit-line."

"I've said it before and I'll say it again: you plant shit-seeds, you get shit-weeds."

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"Jim Lahey Is A Fuckin' Drunk And He Always Will Be" "The Winds Of Shit"