I'm Not Gay, I Love Lucy... Wait A Second, Maybe I Am Gay
Ricky proposes to Lucy after telling her that Julian has a new girlfriend.


May 20, 2001




Mike Clattenburg

Barrie Dunn

Michael Volpe


Mike Clattenburg

John Paul Tremblay

Robb Wells

Barrie Dunn


Ricky (Robb Wells)

Julian (John Paul Tremblay)

Bubbles (Mike Smith)

Jim Lahey (John Dunsworth)

Randy (Patrick Roach)

Lucy (Lucy Decoutere)

Sarah (Sarah Dunsworth)

J-Roc (Jonathan Torrens) credit only

Ray (Barrie Dunn)

Cory (Cory Bowles)

Trevor (Michael Jackson)

Trinity (Jeanna Harrison)

Levi (Ardon Bess)

Desiree (Sandi Ross)

Guest Stars

Candy (Karen LeBlanc)

Bank Manager (Len MacKeigan)

Police Officer (Aaron Armstrong)


Julian plots to get Ricky and Lucy married off so that he can be free from Lucy's sexual overtures.

Plot Synopsis Edit

Teaser Edit

Julian tells the camera how impressed he is that Ricky didn't drink the previous night so that he could be sober enough to have a picnic with his family. Ricky and company pull up in the shitmobile to borrow some things from Julian, and the radiator promptly explodes. A ruckus ensues and Jim Lahey and Randy show up, making things worse; Ricky and Randy get into a wrestling fight.

Act One Edit

After things subside, Ricky and Lucy argue about the car, and he says that they will have the picnic the next day. Lucy leaves with Trinity, but not before breaking up with him yet again. Ricky slinks off to get drunk with his father.

Julian checks his messages: Lucy tells him that her and Ricky are broken up, and invites him over to get drunk with her. This upsets Julian, because Lucy is always lusting after him. Julian seeks advice from Bubbles. Quoting Plato, Bubbles advices him to lie to Lucy so that she will leave him alone. Julian, taking a cue from Lucy's message, decides to lie to Lucy and say that Ricky is planning to marry her, since that seems to be what she wants.

He goes over to see Lucy, who is drunk, and lays the lie on her, saying she should give him another chance. Lucy doesn't quite believe him, and becomes beligerant, saying that if its true, Ricky should be there himself to propose.

Going to find Ricky to somehow convince him to pop the question, he finds him with Ray in the middle of the road, drunk, and arguing with Lahey and Randy. Julian tries to diffuse the situation by removing Ricky from the fray, while Jim and Randy remove Ray from the road.

In the car, Ricky is quite drunk and apologizes for fucking up. They take a walk and Julian tells him he should ask Lucy to get married because if he puts it off any longer people will think he is gay. Ricky, in his drunken state begins to wonder if he is, in fact, gay. In a series of cutaway scenes, Sarah says Ricky isn't at all gay, but she suspects Cory and Trevor are. Cory and Trevor then voice their own opinions on this subject, and wonder whether Ricky and Julian are, after seeing the two in the car in the previous scene. Ricky is now convinced that they are both gay. Julian dismisses the subject and drives to Levi's house.

Act Two Edit

Once there, Ricky asks sheepishly if Levi has a job for him, because he wants to raise money to marry Lucy. Levi is hesitant because Ricky worked for him before and was driving drunk in a garbage truck, and flipped it over in the park on a joyride. Levi accuses him of lying about going straight and sends him away.

The next idea Ricky has is to go to the bank and try to get a $1500 loan...but not before getting attacked by bottle kids). At the bank, while Julian talks to a woman who seems to know of him (she is friends with Levi), Ricky gets into a fight with the loan officer because he has been turned down. After he becomes more aggressive, security comes to escort him out. Julian gets the girl's phone number.

Back at the park, they find Cory and Trevor siphoning gas, and Julian borrows their car. Then they proceed to the home of a jeweler they know (who didn't pay them for some drugs), so they can steal an engagement ring. After breaking into the empty house, Julian starts to make Ricky a sandwich, and Ricky is freaked out by a cat and shoots his gun off wildly. They pick out a ring that Ricky wants but are seen by a neighbourhood child standing outside the front door, who calls 911 on a cell phone, so the boys make their escape.

Act Three Edit

A police chase ensues and Julian tells Ricky to swallow the ring. They get pulled over and hauled out of the car, and the boys give fake names. Ricky uses 'The Jim Trick' on one of the officers and convinces him that Ricky knows his father, and they end up getting let go. Ricky goes to Ray's place and makes himself throw up the swallowed ring.

Later, Ricky primps himself in preparation for popping the question, then sits in the car infront of Julian's place. Still later, he spies Lucy walking up to Julian's door, and calls her over to the car. She gets in the car with him and tells him he's the new 'garbage guy' for the park. He tells her that Julian got a new girlfriend named Candy (the one from the bank) then Ricky says, "Do you wanna get married or something?" She says sure.

Image Gallery Edit

Background Edit

  • It's clear that Lucy is upset by the news that Julian has a girlfriend and has many questions for Ricky about her after he tells her about it.
  • Julian's skill at manipulation, at least as far as Ricky and Lucy goes, is made apparent in this episode when he convinces them both that one wishes to get married to the other.
  • It likely helps that Ricky actually does want to marry Lucy, in "Mr. Lahey's Got My Porno Tape", he states that proposing to, and marrying Lucy, is one of his motives to get his "hydroponics operation" off the ground.
  • This episode further hints that Julian could actually be Trinity's father, when Lucy makes a point of mentioning Trinity when she believes that Julian is trying to get rid of her and Trinity. Sarah later makes a similar observation in the next episode, as well as suggesting how weird it would be if the pair got back together.

References Edit

Rickyisms Edit

"We got this plutonium kinda love shit, Julian..." (instead of 'platonic')

"Look, I haven't dranken and droven in about two years."

"I just don't know how to express myself sometimes when I need to be properly different."

"The thing is when you're shopping for a ring, you gotta take your time. This is my wife we're talking about. She's not gonna be wearing one of those cubic zarcarbion fuckin' things."

Ricky's Knock Knock Jokes Edit

  • Ricky (to Cory and Trevor): Knock knock, boys.
  • Trevor: Who's there?
  • Ricky: (flips them each a bird)

Lahey's Misquotes Edit

"You got one joke in your resitory, Ricky." (he meant 'repertoire')

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"Mrs. Peterson's Dog Gets Fucked Up" "Who The Hell Invited These Idiots To My Wedding?"