I Am The Liquor


Jun 12, 2005




Mike Clattenburg

Barrie Dunn

Michael Volpe


Mike Clattenburg

John Paul Tremblay

Robb Wells

Mike Smith

Jonathan Torrens

Iain MacLeod


Ricky (Robb Wells)

Julian (John Paul Tremblay)

Bubbles (Mike Smith)

Jim Lahey (John Dunsworth)

Randy (Patrick Roach)

Lucy (Lucy Decoutere)

Sarah (Sarah Dunsworth)

J-Roc (Jonathan Torrens) (credit only)

Ray (Barrie Dunn)

Cory (Cory Bowles)

Trevor (Michael Jackson)

Trinity (Jeanna Harrison)

Barb Lahey (Shelley Thompson) (credit only)

T (Tyrone Parsons) (credit only)

Detroit Velvet Smooth (Garry James) (credit only)

Guest Stars

Cyrus (Bernard Robichaud)

Dennis (Nobu Adilman)

Terry (Mio Adilman)


Lahey is hot on the trail of the hash driveway and Julian and Ricky come at odds with each other.

Plot Synopsis[edit | edit source]

Teaser[edit | edit source]

Ricky wakes up and remembers that his entire family is in jail. Julian refuses to let him use the Monte Carlo to visit Trinity and Ray, so he commandeers Bubbles' go-cart.

Act One[edit | edit source]

Julian takes his tent down as he is almost ready to buy back his trailer. He asks Bubbles to help him steal the shitmobile from the impound lot. They call Cory and Trevor to guard the hash driveway. Jim Lahey continues his binge drinking and he sends Randy to get Cory and Trevor and bring them back to the trailer.

Ricky drives to the court house and appears at a child protective services hearing. He manages to convince the judge that he and Lucy are fit parents, despite they fact that both they drink, do drugs and consistently skirt the law. Meanwhile, Julian and Bubbles break into the car impound lot and retreive the dope, the money and Ricky's car. Cory and Trevor are convinced to leave the driveway and go to Randy and Lahey's trailer to play video games and eat ice cream.

While Cory and Trevor are hanging out with Lahey and Randy, Julian arrives and tries to give Jim the down payment for his trailer. Lahey takes the money, but says he has to have the rest of the money by the end of the day. Frustrated, Julian leaves, and doesn't find out that Cory and Trevor are inside.

Act Two[edit | edit source]

Cory and Trevor are sent away, and Lahey plans their next move. Trevor comes back inside to finish his ice cream, and Lahey sits him down. By hinting that he already knows what's going on, he manages to get Trevor to spill the beans about the driveway. Lahey fills in the blanks.

Julian returns to Ray's place and find Cory and Trevor gone. Bubbles arrives with the shitmobile after he visits Ray in jail. Ray has said that Cyrus and his gang beat him up in jail, and he needs to get bailed out now. Ray also told Bubbles that when they get out, Cyrus is planning to kill them.

Cory and Trevor return and admit to Julian that Trevor told him everything. Julian loses it and banishes them. Lahey and Randy contemplate calling the cops, but then decide that a better plan is to get Cyrus out of jail so he can kill Julian and Ricky. Jim gives Randy the money Julian gave him and sends him to the jail to bail them out.

Ricky comes back to Lucy's place with Trinity. He tries to make nice with Lucy and she tells him that Ray called her and Ricky realizes that Julian lied to him about bailing him out today. Julian and Bubbles arrive and Ricky confronts him about this and about giving Lahey the money instead. Julian tries to explain, but Ricky tells him they are done and leaves. Lahey drives by and taunts Julian. dog

Act Three[edit | edit source]

Cory and Trevor tell Ricky that Julian fired them, so Ricky gives them another chance and hires them on. Their first duty is to take Ricky's share of the hash from the driveway.

At Ray's place, Bubbles and Julian are slicing up the driveway, when Ricky and his new crew arrive to take his portion. There is a power struggle, but it's interrupted by Bubbles who notices that people are leaving the park in droves. After another brief battle, Bubbles gets fed up and intervenes. He scolds Julian and Ricky for fighting with each other and arguing over who owns Cory and Trevor when they are supposed to be friends. He demands that they both apologize to each other for what they did. Julian admits his fault and everyone makes up.

While they try to figure out what to do when Lahey calls the cops, we see the gates of the prison open up and Cyrus, Dennis and Terry being let out.

References[edit | edit source]

Rickyisms[edit | edit source]

"Oh, I don't have isurance on my car", like, I don't have isurance on my car...."

Lahey's Shit Talk[edit | edit source]

"That video game is the key to Shitty City, Randy, and Julian is the muscular mayor."

"I'm gonna let those little shitty shit-board members and their sexy mayor Julian destroy themselves."

"We're gonna need a few more shit-puppets for our play, Randy. They gotta be angry shit-puppets, and you gotta make 'em angry, Randy. You say whatever it takes to make them angry... but they're not angry at us, Randy. Shit-puppets are supposed to be angry at other shit-puppets."

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"Dressed All Over And Zesty Mordant" "The Shit Blizzard"
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