|Mr. Lahey's Got My Porno Tape|
On the set of 'From Russia With The Love Bone'.
May 6, 2001
Desiree (Sandi Ross) (credit only)
Victoria (Tara Doyle)
Phil (John Ghiz)
J-Roc's Mom (Linda Busby)
Stacey (Angelique Jensen)
In order to make some money to impress Lucy, Ricky agrees to be in a porn film J-Roc is making, despite Julian's advice to the contrary.
While listening over his walkie-talkie, Jim Lahey gets a distress call from Randy who was sent to investigate a noise complaint. It ends with Ricky stealing Randy's walkie and demanding that Jim get Randy away from him.
Rushing to the scene, Jim finds Ricky and Randy scuffling on the grass. After breaking it up, Jim warns Ricky about the fact that he is growing marijuana in his car. Jim takes Randy away after a final battle between the two of them.
Julian tells the film crew about Ricky's dope growing operation and admits that even Jim was buying it off him at one point. Julian tells Ricky to be smarter about his operation. Ricky decides to pay a visit to a local hydroponics store to get supplies for the next phase.
However, Phil, the owner is not at all pleased to see him and tells him to leave. After a fight breaks out between the two, Julian enters the store to break it up, followed by the film crew who were previously instructed to stay outside. Seeing the cameras further enrages Phil and he pulls his gun out to shoot randomly in the air while being headlocked by Ricky. They manage to subdue him and leave. Ricky decides to try mail-order instead, stating that he needs to get his life back on track so Lucy will stay with him.
Lucy states to the cameras that Ricky needs to make some money or she will indeed leave him. There is a brief conversation with Sarah confirming something Lucy has said about Ricky being a good lover.
Ricky, broke, is seen picking up cigarette butts off the ground and states that he is sick of everything and is going to move to Toronto to be a street person. At that point, J-Roc drives up and offers Ricky a chance to make some money. Julian advises him not to get involved.
Later, Julian gets a message from Ricky about the aforementioned opportunity, and they meet up for target shooting. Ricky says that J-Roc has offered him a paying role in a home-made pornographic film, called 'From Russia With The Love Bone'. Julian says it sounds really 'greasy' and is a bad idea. Ricky goes to J-Roc and expresses his doubts about being in the film, specifically that Lucy might see it, and they tell him that 'only people in Russia are gonna see it'. Ricky reluctantly agrees seeing no other option to make money.
Bubbles tells us that Ricky got him a part in the film as well. Julian says that J-Roc is an idiot. J-Roc responds by saying that everyone is judging him unfairly, and gets into an argument with T about that number of times he says know'm'sayin'. Then we meet two of the female stars of the movie who describe the plot of the film, followed by Cory and Trevor elaborating. Bubbles tells us he's feeling 'frisky' about the prospect of being in the film.
On the 'set' at J-Roc's trailer, they prepare to roll camera. Ricky and Bubbles are playing Russian policemen interrogating two women who are perhaps spies, and they offer to please them to be let off. However there is a problem with Ricky's acting: he cannot get aroused because he is thinking (and worried) about Lucy. Taking a break, J-Roc changes Ricky's part to something more soft-core, and gives Bubbles the lion's share of the action. Before the film can take shape, Jim Lahey and J-Roc's mother show up and shut everything down, demanding everyone leave. Jim Lahey seizes the video tape and J-Roc gets punished by his mom.
Ricky follows Jim to try and get the tape back so that Lucy won't find out about it. Jim refuses and threatens to show the tape to everyone unless he leaves the park before sunrise the next day.
As a preemptive strike, Ricky tells Lucy himself, and she says she won't have anything to do with a 'porno-gigolo'. Ricky calls Julian and leaves a message that he is planning to break into Jim's trailer to get the tape back, and probably kill him and Randy as well. He lays a guilt trip on Julian stating that if he doesn't help, he and Bubbles will probably go to jail when he could have prevented it.
Julian has to go deal with the problem, and intercepts Ricky and Bubbles, telling them to stay outside while he breaks into the trailer to get the tape. Once inside, he finds Jim and Randy dressed in drag, Randy with a bondage hood on and J-Roc's porno footage playing on the TV. Seizing the opportunity, Julian takes the tape, some of their drugs and liquor, and blackmails them into keeping quiet about everything and leaving Ricky alone.
Later, over drinks, Julian destroys the tape. Ricky laments that he is still broke after all that, and Julian says he will lend him the money to buy equipment to grow his pot plants.
- Ricky and Julian target shooting is something the pair did in the original pilot, when Julian told him about his talk with the fortune teller and the fact that he thought he was going to die soon. We never see them target shoot again after this episode.
- This episode probably contains the first instance of anything resembling shit talk from Jim Lahey. (see below)
- After Julian finds Jim and Randy in an obviously homosexual encounter, he promises not to say anything to anyone about it if they keep their end of the bargain. He appears to keep the secret right up until the point when Jim and Randy out themselves. ("The Delusions Of Officer Jim Lahey") Judging from the looks on some of the onlookers faces in that episode, it seems that they didn't know, or that they suspected but couldn't confirm. The fact that Julian respected their privacy and/or kept his end of the bargain is a testament to Julian's honourable character at heart.
- It is also interesting to note that Lahey and Randy play the confiscated porn footage of Ricky, Bubbles, Victoria, and Stacey when caught by Julian.
- Barrie Dunn (Ray), Ardon Bess and Sandi Ross (Levi & Desiree) are credited in the episode's opening credits, but do not actually appear.
- According to Julian, he and Ricky have been out of jail for three weeks.
- Ricky mentions in this episode, that among other reasons, his desire to acquire a large sum of money is so that he can marry Lucy. This will become significant later on in the season, when Julian manipulates Ricky into actually proposing and attempting the marriage in "I'm Not Gay, I Love Lucy... Wait A Second, Maybe I Am Gay" and "Who The Hell Invited These Idiots To My Wedding?"
- Corey mentions the porno's plot was about blackmailing, which was also an element in the episode when Julian blackmails Lahey and Randy.
What goes around is all around (instead of 'what goes around comes around. Interestingly enough, Jim Lahey responds to this by saying, "Don't you mean 'what's all around comes around?')
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