Who's The Microphone Assassin?
scene from "Microphone Assassins" video


May 11, 2003




Mike Clattenburg

Barrie Dunn

Michael Volpe


Mike Clattenburg

John Paul Tremblay

Robb Wells

Jackie Torrens


Ricky (Robb Wells)

Julian (John Paul Tremblay)

Bubbles (Mike Smith)

Jim Lahey (John Dunsworth)

Randy (Patrick Roach)

Lucy (Lucy Decoutere)

Sarah (Sarah Dunsworth)

J-Roc (Jonathan Torrens) (credit only)

Ray (Barrie Dunn)

Cory (Cory Bowles)

Trevor (Michael Jackson)

Trinity (Jeanna Harrison) (credit only)

Barb Lahey (Shelley Thompson) (credit only)

T (Tyrone Parsons)

Guest Stars

J-Roc's Mom (Linda Busby)

Detroit Velvet Smooth (Gary "Papa Grand" James)


J-Roc gets into a few scraps as he deals with allegations of indecency and illegal pirating of other people's music.

Plot Synopsis Edit


J-Roc is interviewed about his latest video, his views on filmmaking, rap lyrics and video techniques, and we get a preview of his latest joint, 'Microphone Assassin.'

Act One Edit

Ricky and Julian explain again their plan to only commit small crimes, and how their next phase is to sell J-Roc albums and host a flea market. They continue to use proceeds from one operation to fund the next. J-Roc and T are excited about the latest CD, and dis Cory and Trevor's rapping skills. Cory and Trevor in turn say that J-Roc fakes his whole gangster life persona because he lives with his mom and doesn't live in the 'hood. Bubbles is concerned that J-Roc's album illegally samples established rap artists and that the quality of the CD in general isn't that good. J-Roc calls his sampling 'cross-promotion'. All the boys state their implicit trust in Julian.

Bubbles works the flea market and reports that many J-Roc CDs have been sold. Ricky wants to start spending the proceeds, but Julian holds him back. In Sarah and Lucy's trailer, everyone is ready to take their cut of the profits, but Julian convinces them to reinvest and promote a rap concert, promising to double their money. They will increase concert attendance by offering free liquor.

Ricky starts working on mixing 'jiffy wine' with Ray while Julian attempts to Jim Lahey's permission to hold the concert. Jim refuses, since Julian only leases his lot and the lease terms do not allow him to do whatever he wants. Julian calmly leaves. Cory and Trevor beg to be allowed to perform in the rap concert. Julian and Ricky brush them off, and then head to J-Roc's, where his mom lets them into his room. Inside they find J-Roc masturbating and he scrambles to hide it. Once the initial embarrassment blows over, they tell J-Roc to meet them at the flea market for some news. Meanwhile, Cory and Trevor have seen the whole incident spying through his window.

Act Two Edit

Cory and Trevor explain that they were following J-Roc in an attempt to get in on the rap show and saw J-Roc masturbating by accident. They have not been keeping it a secret from the park residents at large. J-Roc starts to notice that people are acting weird around him now and is greatly concerned about his reputation. In an interview, J-Roc explains his technique of 'method rap': in order to write songs about sex, he has to be turned on, and that's why he was doing what he did. Julian tells J-Roc how many records have been sold and that the rap concert will take place that afternoon, and this cheers him up some.

Setup begins at J-Roc's trailer, but Lahey and Randy try to put a stop to it. Julian explains that he isn't doing anything wrong, since J-Roc's mom owns the property and Julian is following the rules -- as long as all the activity stays within the property lines.

Jim retaliates by getting on the phone and calling Detroit Velvet Smooth, one of the rappers that J-Roc has 'borrowed' from. Meanwhile, the rap show is about to start and Ricky is angrily trying to keep everyone on J-Roc's property and controlling the liquor service. J-Roc preps for his performance and gets a pep talk from Julian. DVS and his crew roll up and Jim escorts him to the rap show which has just started.

DVS fires his gun into the air over the concert and calls J-Roc out. Julian intervenes and DVS demands money for the tracks J-Roc appropriated. J-Roc tries to express his admiration for the rapper, but DVS calls him a punk and takes issue with J-Roc referring to himself as a brother'.

In a cutaway interview, Sarah and Lucy explain that J-Roc really believes that he is black and is not pretending for the benefit of his career. The people in the park just go along with this. But DVS' dismissal of J-Roc's 'blackness' causes him to retreat into his trailer, bringing the rap show to a screeching halt.

Act Three Edit

As the rap show crowd become restless, Julian orders Cory and Trevor to perform. This is not what the audience wants and it makes things worse as jeers and projectiles fly toward the stage. J-Roc's mom checks on him, but finds him devoid of all his rap paraphernalia and mannerisms, and instead wearing khakis and a golf shirt. He explains his shattering realization that he is actually white. His mom tries to convince him to believe in himself and go back out and do the show anyway, but he is still uncertain.

Meanwhile, Bubbles has taken the stage and is free-styling about his cats to the delight of the crowd. Julian gives DVS some of the money they made on the CD sales, and they get high together. Things seem to be smoothed over and DVS agrees to talk to J-Roc at the request of his mom. DVS explains to him that there is more to being black than just rapping and he also says that some of his material is good. This seems to snap J-Roc out of it, so J-Roc changes back into his street clothes and the show resumes with DVS as the MC.

References Edit

Rickyisms Edit

"I just don't understand investiments..."

Ricky also calls Detroit Velvet Smooth 'DVD' instead of DVS.

Lahey's Shit Talk Edit

"You idiots have loaded up a hair-trigger double-barreled shit machine gun, and the barrel's pointed straight at your own heads."

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